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Thread: Making Babies!!!!

  1. #1
    g0d! Contributing Member siosios's Avatar
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    Default Making Babies!!!!

    Making a baby!

    This is hilarious! There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
    father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
    Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man
    should be here soon.'

    Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
    happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning,
    Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

    'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been
    expecting you.'

    'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know
    babies are my specialty?'

    'Well that's what my
    husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.

    After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

    'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
    couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor
    is fun. You can really spread out there.'

    'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and
    me!'

    'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try
    several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure
    you'll be pleased with the results.'

    'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

    'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In
    and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

    'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
    baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

    'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

    'And these twins turned out
    exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to
    work with.'

    'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

    'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job
    done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good
    look'

    'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

    'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The
    mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate,
    and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the
    squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

    Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
    uh...equipment?'

    'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and
    we can get to work right away.'

    'Tripod?'

    'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too
    big to be held in the hand very long.'
    Mrs. Smith fainted
    ------------------------------------------------

    |W0rd|SexualTurtletara420ת/ύ: Hey there daddy..

    ------------------------------------------------
    \\\ ///
    ( @ @ )
    .....o00o.(_).o00o.....


    ------------------------------------------

  2. #2
    HaZe
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    LOL. That's pretty good. It's actually hard to find good jokes without crude language now a day too.

  3. #3
    BloodThirsty Pwnerator
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    Default

    The only way this thing coulda gotten better is if she actually had sex with him and then the real guys showed up.


    rofl - still very funny though
    [img]http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z54/zippo346/bloodthirsty_final_gif.gif[/img]

  4. #4
    Kung Fu Master
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    ROFL BEST ONE YET :P
    [img]http://www.sloganizer.net/en/style7,n00b-spc-Unlimited.png[/img]
    [URL=http://3mb.us/view-738_pasties_final_revised.gif][img]http://3mb.us/images/738_pasties_final_revised.gif[/img][/URL]

    Turtletara420: Hahahaha. Pasties Yes Ur the master....always
    Turtletara420: Prob. shouldn't have said that, but yes...Ur the master!!! I bow at ur feet! Oh master how can I serve

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