Today we are holding the historic first sale in honor of our strong and courageous Supreme Leader. Even now amid the grand struggle of retail pricing he marches heroically forward. With iron nerves and cobalt confidence he will achieve the final victory of our glorious revolution by selling many honorable games at great discount.

Through his fearless acts, infinite courage and well-proportioned face, our Supreme Leader will free us from the shackles of retail pricing for over 40 games. Together we will share the immeasurable joys of working under El Presidente, expose the treacherous failures of Imperialist Democracy, and maintain absolute vigilance at our borders.

Reflecting the infinite loyalty and ardent reverence of our delegates, we are fully convinced that this first sale in honor of our Supreme Leader will perform most satisfactorily. Backed by this high political enthusiasm and many, many guns, we will leave an outstanding mark on the development of our glorious revolution. Maybe then our Supreme Leader will start returning our phone calls and stop throwing away our gifts. Not that we are desperate or anything. We just think it is kind of rude to lead a Reunification Congress on for this long without any sort of acknowledgment. Just saying.

To advance and hasten the final victory of our noble cause, we declare this first, historic sale for our Supreme Leader officially begun.

This immortal revolution comes to an end Friday, 10AM PST.



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